Stuff You Should Thank Me For

• Corners
• Abe Vigoda
• Magnifying glasses
• Speckles
• Circles
• Half-priced seasonal candy the day after a holiday
• Bricks
• Stepladders
• Hula hoops
• Juggling
• Martin Landau
• Bronze
• Lilacs
• Toy trains
• Nose plugs
• Bubbles (not the chimp)
• Bubbles (the chimp)
• The Transformed Man
• Potassium
• Narcotics

Stuff You Should Thank Me For

• Sweatpants
  
• Mirrors
  
• Ducks
  
• Hulk Hogan
  
• Handles
  
• Stripes
  
• Shingles
  
• Apostrophes
• Compilation DVDs
• Lanyards
• Yugoslavia
• Transformers: Robots in Disguise
• Thesauruses
• Guitar picks
• Nelson Mandela
• Safety scissors
• Theses
• Antitheses
• Sarcasm
• 3-D movies

Stuff You Should Thank Me For

• French fried onions
• Shelves
• Scotch tape
• Electricity
• Gossip Girl
• Artificial wood
• Non-artificial wood
• Philippe Petit
• Canned air
• Rollie Polies
• Keys
• Freido Pinto
• Super Mario Bros. 2
• Sporks
• Fishbowls
• Hinges
• Anderson Cooper
• Antidisestablishmentarianism
• Termites
• Green

Stuff You Should Thank Me For

You know, you guys have been slacking off on your prayers of gratitude lately. I figured it's probably on account of you not knowing how to narrow down all the things you're grateful for in concise prayer form (you know how I hate those rambling prayers!), so I decided to help you out. Here's a list of stuff you should thank me for. Pick the three you're most grateful for and pray about them tonight!

• Matchbox Cars
• Anti-Viral Kleenex
• Ficuses
• "Participant" Trophies
• Fly Swatters
• Corrugated Cardboard
• Stuffed Animals
• Richard Simmons
• Doorknobs
• Band-Aids
• Band Aid (but not Band Aid 20, I had nothing to do with that)
• Sour Cream 'n Onion Pringles
• Corks
• Three-Ring Binders
• Those little caps you twist onto the knobby things on your tires
• Gwen Stefani
• Lead-Free Paint Chips
• Pool Floaties
• Jesus
• "David After Dentist"

You're welcome!