Old Technology Is Still 'Technology', Moses

I really think it's important that we here in Heaven do everything we can to make sure we truly understand what you guys are dealing with down on Earth. I don't want anyone to lose touch with what we're doing, after all. It's all in the details. Which is why we live in houses and wear clothes and instantly teleport ourselves to work every day, just like you.

One of the things about being in charge of PR here in Heaven is that Moses has to keep up to date with all the latest fads down on Earth. That's part of why I gave him the job, because Me + Technology = Me Being Confused By Technology And Just Miracling My Way Out Of It.

That's why Moses told me to start this blog - eight years ago. When I told him that I was starting it for real a few months ago (I do things in My Own Time), he told me that blogs are "totally passé now." To which I said, "Shut up, Moses."

He's always wanting us to get the latest and greatest gadgetry up here. I don't know how many times I've told him that I want us to use all the typical stuff that you guys use on Earth, and not the newfangledly stuff that only the super rich white geeks can afford. But still, he persists.

Like the other day, he said he thought we should get a high definition flatbed scanner. I asked him what it does, and he gave me a bunch of mumbo jumbo about digitizing our old files and going green and all that stuff.

"What?" I said.

"Sigh," Moses said. "Basically, it's like taking a picture of a piece of paper and making a copy that you can keep in the computer."

"Like a Ditto machine?"

Then he just walked away. Probably because he realized how silly he was being. Everyone knows that Ditto sheets are purple, not green. And you can't keep them in the computer because all the wires get in the way.