November 30, 2009

What Is Kirk Cameron Thinking?

November 26, 2009

Creation That Didn't Pan Out #318


November 12, 2009

Happy Birthday, Universe!

Wow, I can't believe the Universe is already 6,013 years old. I remember Creating it like it was yesterday.

I know, I know. You think I'm a few weeks late. Because once again you think you know me or how I operate better than I do. The Missus is always telling me that when I made people after my own image they inherited my arrogance. My mistake.

But despite what every rational, Me-fearing person on Earth believes, the Universe was not created on the night proceeding October 23, 4004 BC. It was actually around 2 pm on November 12, 4004 BC. James Ussher was close, but he failed to take into account how quickly Adam rushed through the whole naming-the-animals task. I mean, maybe if he had taken an extra couple of weeks Adam would have come up with something better than "aardvark."

November 11, 2009

Creation That Didn't Pan Out #22

Heffalumps. Also, woozles.

November 10, 2009

The Play-It-Again Sams

One of the greatest perks about Heaven is that, because there are SO MANY people up here, you can always find someone who's gung-ho about your latest great idea.

So I wasn't at all surprised at how many people responded to the flier I posted up at the rec center last week, asking for people to join a new club. We had almost forty people show up to our very first meeting, and I'm sure once word gets out it will grow like crazy. I mean, who wouldn't want to join the Play-It-Again Sams?

See, the idea is that we all get together and recreate, scene-by-scene, the greatest selections from the history of theater, television, and movies. Then we put video of our recreation up on HaLo (it's kind of like our version of YouTube). So it's called the Play-It-Again club, and everyone in it is a Sam.

I know. Take a moment to soak up my cleverness.

What we do is actually inspired by all of you guys down there on Earth. See, you guys are masters at not only recreating the same plays and movies and tv shows over and over again, but also of happily watching the same plays and movies and tv shows over and over again. I mean, as long as it was done before, no matter how terrible it was the first time, you're perfectly content to spend your Tuesday nights watching Melrose Place.

You amaze me.

Our first meeting was great. We decided to really start things off with a bang and tackle the first episode of season 3 of Mork & Mindy - you know, the one where Mork has decided to give up his Orkin ways and try to be more human because he ran out of cocaine? I think it went really well, except for when that guy Joe said this whole thing is stupid and why don't we all go outside instead and throw a ball around or something. He just doesn't get the spirit of the Play-It-Again Sams.

We already have almost 3 million hits on HaLo.