December 16, 2008


OMMe! It's freezing in here today! And you know why? Because Moses keeps messing with the thermostat.

I don't know how many times I've told him - I like it a toasty 86 degrees. It makes me feel warm and sleepy and relaxed, which is when I'm my most productive. But it seems like every time I turn around Moses has cranked it all the way down to 72!

He says 86 is way too high; in fact, he said it was "hotter than Hell" up here. I made him a bet that he was wrong, and that is is way hotter in Hell, so I emailed Satan to confirm it for me.

Dear Satan,

Moses and I are having a bit of a spat about the thermostat
here in Heaven. He keeps turning it down because he thinks I keep it as
hot as Hell up here. I've told him that isn't true, and then I bet him he
was wrong. So tell me, what temperature is it down there? (And please
say it's hotter than 86 degrees, or else I have to tell Moses where I hid his
staff). Thanks a bundle!

Love, God

Here's what Satan wrote back:

Dear God,

If you'd quit playing with the damn thermostat, maybe we wouldn't
behaving such problems down here. Whoever drew the 'line' was smoking a
bowl. The thermostat, is of course, on YOUR SIDE. You leave me with
the garbage cans, the gutter,and half a bathroom.


So apparently Satan's a bit mad at me because Hell's freezing over. I told him it's not my fault, it's Moses', but I don't think he believes me.

Technically, does this mean I lost my bet? I hope not, because I was really looking forward to making Moses show up naked to work tomorrow. Then we'll see just how cold it is in here.


Anonymous said...

Wow this blog is sheer blasphemy. You should be ashamed.

p.s. - If you are who you say you are, tell me who I am (first and last name)

God said...

Remember, I work in mysterious ways. What's mysterious about saying your name?

In the spirit of mysteriousness, however, I will say this:

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! You really should take one day soon, splurge on yourself, and go skiing. Oh, and it's okay that you don't feel like you know exactly who I am. That's why I made this blog - so you could get to know me better!

Love you!