OMMe! It's freezing in here today! And you know why? Because Moses keeps messing with the thermostat.
I don't know how many times I've told him - I like it a toasty 86 degrees. It makes me feel warm and sleepy and relaxed, which is when I'm my most productive. But it seems like every time I turn around Moses has cranked it all the way down to 72!
He says 86 is way too high; in fact, he said it was "hotter than Hell" up here. I made him a bet that he was wrong, and that is is way hotter in Hell, so I emailed Satan to confirm it for me.
Moses and I are having a bit of a spat about the thermostat
here in Heaven. He keeps turning it down because he thinks I keep it as
hot as Hell up here. I've told him that isn't true, and then I bet him he
was wrong. So tell me, what temperature is it down there? (And please
say it's hotter than 86 degrees, or else I have to tell Moses where I hid his
staff). Thanks a bundle!
Here's what Satan wrote back:
If you'd quit playing with the damn thermostat, maybe we wouldn't
behaving such problems down here. Whoever drew the 'line' was smoking a
bowl. The thermostat, is of course, on YOUR SIDE. You leave me with
the garbage cans, the gutter,and half a bathroom.
So apparently Satan's a bit mad at me because Hell's freezing over. I told him it's not my fault, it's Moses', but I don't think he believes me.
Technically, does this mean I lost my bet? I hope not, because I was really looking forward to making Moses show up naked to work tomorrow. Then we'll see just how cold it is in here.