I'm Telling You, I'm Easy!

This morning I asked Pete if he had finished all of his Christmas shopping yet. Almost, he said. I offered to help him, but he said no because the only person left on his list was me. Then he said that he was having a really hard time coming up with a good present idea for me.

What is he talking about? I'm the easiest person to shop for in the Universe! Pete says there's a lot of pressure involved in buying a present for God, because if I don't like it you're kinda screwed. Whatever, man. Pete's my best friend, and it hurts that he thinks I'm that shallow.

Name one time someone offered me a gift and I didn't like it and things turned out badly for that person. Except Cain, because that guy had it coming. Seriously. Fruit? What kind of offering is fruit? 'Oh, here, thanks for being such an awesome God. Have a mango.' Geez.