Sometimes I Don't Know WTF Anyone Is Talking About

You know, I never thought I'd be one of those fathers who just completely lost touch with what his kids find cool. Let's face it - I'm pretty hip. I'm even a little shoulder. But I have to admit, I'm discovering that I'm behind the times. I was keeping up pretty well for a while, once I learned how to work the interweb. That's why I started Blogging, Google Mapping, Digging, Regal Seagulling, Online Pokering, Redditing, Emailing, Gmailing, and Twittering (which I also like to call Tmailing). I also plan to start Book My Face-ing soon.

But even though I've been real good about learning all this new technological crap, I'm still pretty confused. Half the time you guys don't even use real words! Guess what? ChatSpeak is not a real language. It's just made-up nonsense, just like Ebonics or Swedish.

Some of it I understand. I get "FYI." That one's been around for a while, so I've gotten used to it. I feel pretty comfortable saying to somebody, "FYI, how are you?"

I also understand ">:(" and "BBQ". But that's about the extent of my patience for ChatSpeak, so really the only thing I can say fluently is, "FYI, are you going to >:( the BBQ?"

What's really annoying is that you guys are starting to pray in ChatSpeak. Please, tell me how I'm supposed to respond to a prayer like this:

OMG! OMG! plz bless this zit goes away ASAP cos i w2b SU qt 2nite on my d8 with @qtstboyinschool k? gtg thx!

It just makes my brain hurt. All of this lmao bcuz u r h4ppy stuff is just beyond me. I'd prefer not to lmao, thank you. That would make sitting quite difficult. It makes me wonder what this world I created is coming to.