Whew! I'm Exhausted.

Once every year we have to take inventory of Heaven. I give everybody a specific assignment, but it still takes days to do. Someone has to count the blue pens, someone else has to count the green pens, someone else has to count the purple pens. Then there has to be someone to count all the golden fields and someone to count the public milkshake dispensers and someone to count all the Swedes. The list goes on and on.

It's tedious and boring, so my assignment is always to try to make it more fun for everybody. This year I decided that instead of bringing donuts to make it more fun, the best way would be to stand on my throne in the middle of Heaven with a bullhorn and go through my entire stand-up comedy routine over and over and over again in an endless loop until everybody was finished counting.

The bad news is, my stand-up is only about six minutes long, which means I performed the same routine 642 times over the past four days. With that many repeat performances, I feel like my act has started to get a little stale. So I need some new jokes. Any suggestions?

The good news is, this year was the fastest we've ever finished inventory in the history of Time itself! I must have been really motivational! In fact, almost everybody asked me to stop at some point, probably because they were laughing too hard to get their work done.