You Should Be Me-Fearing People

When Rodney Dangerfield got to Heaven, I asked him to come into the office for a little chat. "Rodney," I said, "I think you and I have something in common."

"What's that, God?" he asked.

"Just like me, you know what it's like to have people disrespect you," I said.

"..." he said.

"You know, 'I get no respect!'" I said.

"You do get that that was a joke, right? People are really quite fond of me." he said.

"Get out of my office, Rodney," I said.

Sometimes I think people forget that they're supposed to both love me and fear me. Most of you have a pretty good grasp on the love part, but you're lacking in the fear department.

I blame Moses. He had this grand idea years and years ago that it would be great PR for me to try to appear more lovable. He said there are only two ways it can go for a guy who has a crazy long beard that waches you when you sleep - you can either be a creepy serial killer-slash-stalker or you can be Santa Claus. So we went with Santa Claus.

And it worked for a while, but now I think I'd really like to lean more on the "fear" angle.