MUTANT-Y!!!

I bet you guys are pretty excited because the 'Wolverine' movie comes out in theaters tomorrow (Pete showed me a super secret way to get it for free on the internet, so I've already seen it seven times. Sorry, guys, it's just one of the perks of living in Heaven. Someday if you're really good you'll get to come up here and watch movies for free on the internet, too).

You know, if I were to make mutants for real, I think I'd make one that had a psychic mustache. It'd be really really long, and it'd know how to spell. That way, whenever something dangerous was about to happen, the mustache twist itself up to say something like, "Impending Doom!" Because, come on. What would you do if you were a bad guy and you saw a dude with a mustache that spelled "Impending Doom!" all by itself? You'd be scared out of your wits. You've already lost that battle before it's even begun.