A lot of you want to know what a typical day in Heaven is like. So, yesterday I wrote down everything I did so you guys could see exactly what goes on up here:
6:45 - Ignored alarm clock.
6:46 - Ignored the Missus poking me and telling me to get up.
7:12 - Got up
7:16 - Stubbed my toe, cursed for a while, granted myself Mercy and Forgiveness for cursing
7:18 - Bathroom
7:25 - Ate Count Chocula
7:29 - Laughed at the Missus for trying to get me to eat a banana with my Count Chocula
7:43 - Shower
8:04 - Blowed dry my beard part-way on low heat
8:09 - Got dressed
8:15 - Finished blowing dry my beard (upside down for extra bounce)
8:26 - Bathroom
8:31 - Went to the office
8:32 - Hid Moses' staff
8:40 - Called Pete, made plans for lunch
8:57 - Bejeweled 2
9:30 - Went through inbox, answered some prayers
10:12 - Bathroom
10:18 - Back to answering prayers
10:35 - Cancelled Moses' meeting to discuss lack of 'professionalism' in the office
10:54 - Got some coffee and a Milky Way from the break room
11:13 - Performed miracles
12:31 - Had status meeting with angels
1:02 - Went home to get Bandit
1:07 - Walked over to T'ienTown to pick up lunch
1:16 - Got to the Pearlies, gave Pete a handshake/hug
1:19 - Ate lunch with Pete, played a little frisbee with Bandit, chilled out
2:07 - Brought Bandit back to the office
2:09 - Bathroom
2:15 - Gave Moses his staff back so he'd shut up about the whole 'no pets in the office' policy
2:17 - Gave the Universe a little minor tweaking
3:46 - Mah Jong
4:05 - Smiting
4:21 - Answered prayers
4:59 - Watched the clock and counted down until...
5:00 - Went home!
5:16 - Took a power nap
6:03 - Ate dinner with the Missus
6:26 - Got out of doing the dishes by taking Bandit on a walk
7:00 - Watched TV
8:52 - Finally ate that banana like the Missus wanted - with ice cream and hot fudge!
9:18 - Checked my email, Googled random stuff
11:06 - Went to bed
11:09 - Bathroom
11:13 - Back to bed
May 15, 2009
Just A Day, Just An Ordinary Day...
Posted by God at Friday, May 15, 2009
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5 comments:
Stop playing tricks on Moses!
PS: What's Tientown?
Truly...my husband is made in Your image because this appears to be his schedule...to a T. Except for the beard part. The police departement won't let him have one. Of course, you knew that. My bad.
Thought God never sleeps, never slumbers??
Dear Shimona,
Of course I sleep! Controlling the entire Universe takes a lot out of a guy. My sleep is a bit different from yours, however. I have to maintain complete consciousness of everything that's happening everywhere always, so instead of dreaming I usually use sleep-time to monitor the Universe without distractions. You're welcome.
Love,
God
God,
Around 5:00 or so every day is when I'm all "Lord have mercy, what can I fix for dinner tonight". No wonder you don't answer...you're power napping. I'll just move dinner to 6:30 so you can intervene for me while you're out walking the dog...
Thanks,
Marni
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