May 15, 2009

Just A Day, Just An Ordinary Day...

A lot of you want to know what a typical day in Heaven is like. So, yesterday I wrote down everything I did so you guys could see exactly what goes on up here:

6:45 - Ignored alarm clock.
6:46 - Ignored the Missus poking me and telling me to get up.
7:12 - Got up
7:16 - Stubbed my toe, cursed for a while, granted myself Mercy and Forgiveness for cursing
7:18 - Bathroom
7:25 - Ate Count Chocula
7:29 - Laughed at the Missus for trying to get me to eat a banana with my Count Chocula
7:43 - Shower
8:04 - Blowed dry my beard part-way on low heat
8:09 - Got dressed
8:15 - Finished blowing dry my beard (upside down for extra bounce)
8:26 - Bathroom
8:31 - Went to the office
8:32 - Hid Moses' staff
8:40 - Called Pete, made plans for lunch
8:57 - Bejeweled 2
9:30 - Went through inbox, answered some prayers
10:12 - Bathroom
10:18 - Back to answering prayers
10:35 - Cancelled Moses' meeting to discuss lack of 'professionalism' in the office
10:54 - Got some coffee and a Milky Way from the break room
11:13 - Performed miracles
12:31 - Had status meeting with angels
1:02 - Went home to get Bandit
1:07 - Walked over to T'ienTown to pick up lunch
1:16 - Got to the Pearlies, gave Pete a handshake/hug
1:19 - Ate lunch with Pete, played a little frisbee with Bandit, chilled out
2:07 - Brought Bandit back to the office
2:09 - Bathroom
2:15 - Gave Moses his staff back so he'd shut up about the whole 'no pets in the office' policy
2:17 - Gave the Universe a little minor tweaking
3:46 - Mah Jong
4:05 - Smiting
4:21 - Answered prayers
4:59 - Watched the clock and counted down until...
5:00 - Went home!
5:16 - Took a power nap
6:03 - Ate dinner with the Missus
6:26 - Got out of doing the dishes by taking Bandit on a walk
7:00 - Watched TV
8:52 - Finally ate that banana like the Missus wanted - with ice cream and hot fudge!
9:18 - Checked my email, Googled random stuff
11:06 - Went to bed
11:09 - Bathroom
11:13 - Back to bed

5 comments:

Darius said...

Stop playing tricks on Moses!
PS: What's Tientown?

Marni said...

Truly...my husband is made in Your image because this appears to be his schedule...to a T. Except for the beard part. The police departement won't let him have one. Of course, you knew that. My bad.

Shimona Kee said...

Thought God never sleeps, never slumbers??

God said...

Dear Shimona,

Of course I sleep! Controlling the entire Universe takes a lot out of a guy. My sleep is a bit different from yours, however. I have to maintain complete consciousness of everything that's happening everywhere always, so instead of dreaming I usually use sleep-time to monitor the Universe without distractions. You're welcome.

Love,

God

Marni said...

God,

Around 5:00 or so every day is when I'm all "Lord have mercy, what can I fix for dinner tonight". No wonder you don't answer...you're power napping. I'll just move dinner to 6:30 so you can intervene for me while you're out walking the dog...

Thanks,

Marni