August 20, 2009

I'm Sorry You Feel That Way

Today sucks.

First, I slept in. Luckily I was able to miracle Time so that I still got to work on time, but it threw me off for the rest of the day.

Second, there's a big debate going on in Heaven right now and my two best friends are on opposite sides of it. It seems some people think the rule about pets and animals having their own Heavens needs to be changed, and that we should all get to live in the same Heaven. Pete's on the side that says the rule is there for a reason and shouldn't change, but Bandit thinks everyone should get to live together. I understand where they both are coming from, but when it all comes down to it I'm going to have to side with one of them. And that's just not cool.

Third, a lot of people are using the Animal Heavens debate to bring up the cat issue. Which means that a lot of people are getting mad at me for telling the truth about cats. Which is that they're vile. And even though I tell these people that it's okay if they like cats, and that I won't keep them out of Heaven for it, they still seem to think it's important that I like cats, too.

Okay, look. I understand how you get angry when you feel like I'm not on your side about something. But it's impossible for me to please everybody all the time. That's one of the hardest things about my job - having to do what's right even when it means people get mad at me. So while I know some of you are still going to get mad at me over the whole cat thing, and that some of you will be mad over whatever we end up deciding about the Animal Heavens, just know that I'm doing the best I can. Try not to be so vicious, mmkay?

So it feels like the whole Universe is fighting right now. Things are getting very tense. Let's all find something we can unite in. Post your suggestions for your favorite Universal Truth That Everyone Can Agree To.


Bags said...

Signs of the times... the second coming is nigh when people begin to embrace the wickedness of cat worship as in the days of Sodom and Gamora.

Miss Thystle said...

I vote that we have Cat Heaven and Everyone Else Heaven. Failing that, can I please go to Dog Heaven? Assuming that I get to Heaven. Which is always in doubt.

Meg said...

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”

(Jane Austen said it first)

nollyposh said...

Regardless of WHAT we think, those kitties STILL always land on their feet! = Universal truth X;-)

David said...

Cats are good for somethings, but it's a universal truth that dead cats are good for a lot more. Would You consider letting cats into everyone's heaven but leaving their souls to rot somewhere else. That way, the idiots in heaven can have their little kitties to snuggle with (like stuffed animals) and the rest of us can live undefiled at the same time. Just an idea. Win/Win!

Erin said...

Health care and insurance will always be a mess no matter who runs it.

saving myself ... really said...

Is there a Universal Truth that everyone can agree on??? Ok cats are ville, but I don't think we'll all agree...agreeing on one Universal Truth is gonna cause a problem...

God said...

(This one was emailed)

Hi there:

I can't seem to submit in the comments section so am taking the chance on an email

Universal Truth:

Everything in the universe is either a banana or it isn't a banana.

Think about it!

Love your blog!