August 28, 2009

I'm Very Right-Brained. Because I'm Always Right.

One of my *ahem* loyal *cough* disciples sent me this email the other day.

God -

Hey what's up? Thanks for that favor the other night. You know what I mean. I was just wondering why you don't blog so much anymore? I know you're busy keeping everything alive & running heaven & hangingout with St. Pete. But you used to blog every day. And when are you going to finish the Bible 2 on twitter? Are you going to fix your new website? I mean it'd be one thing if you weren't blogging because you were fixing world hunger or aids or soemthing, but it seems like you're just being lazy. Please don't send me to hell! I just miss your blog. I need more of your word so I can go to heaven and we can play a nice game of badminton together someday.

Oh and I'm planning on doing a little sinning this weekend. Hope that's ok.

I only have one thing to say about this email: Hmmmpf.

Wait, hold on. I just thought of a bunch of other things to say.

I've never been that great on follow-through. The Missus says I'm too easily distracted. I'll be in the middle of a project and suddenly get a great idea for a new project, and forget to finish the first. Of course, when I'm working on the second one I'll get a brilliant flash of inspiration for a third, and so on and so on. It drives her nuts, because she's incredibly anal organized.

Pete says the Missus and I are so different that way because I'm right-brained. That made me laugh. I couldn't wait to go home and tell her that Pete says she's wrong-brained, but then he said it was something about the brain hemispheres and cortex and all this stuff I vaguely remember coming up with from back when I created Life so many thousands of years ago.

But Pete's right. I'm very creative. In fact, I'm Creative. I'm the ultimate Creative being. So because I spend so much time and energy Creating things, I don't have a lot of time and energy to sit around and make sure those things I created are working efficiently. I mean, just look at your digestive system. Those things are nothing like I originally imagined. I was going to Create something sooo much better, but then I had this crazy idea to give you all wings and dropped your intestines to work on that instead. Which, by the way, ended up not panning out, anyway.

Look, I know you guys really need this blog. Trust me. I know how much you need it more than you know you need it. So I'm going to try really hard to focus on updating it more often. And I already asked Pete to help me work out the problems with the other website. And.... what was the other thing?... Oh, yeah. The sequel to the Bible. Um..... I'm not making any promises on that one.

I'd better tell Satan to brush up on his badminton game. The guy who sent that email is going to need somebody to play against when he gets Down Under.


Tiffany said...

No wonder I like you so well. We're so similar! ;)

rev;kenny ray said...

dear God,i know ya told us to love everybody,but i hate my managers
guts,could ya do something to him like job er something?other than that everythings pretty good.thanks!