June 4, 2009

Your Laws Are Funnier Than Mine

You totally crack me up. Although I did give you a few rules and guidelines, I've pretty much left it up to you to figure out how to run your own lives. And occasionally the rules and laws you've put in place for yourselves can be a little bit ridiculous. Sometimes the things you come up with.... I mean, who thinks of stuff like that? I'm telling you, you are an endless source of entertainment for me.

For example, today I spent a full 26 minutes laughing hysterically over the fact that in Scotland it is illegal to be drunk while in possession of a cow. I mean, somebody had to actually sit down, form the conclusion that people with cows shouldn't be tipsy, consider it enough of a hazard that it should be enacted into a law, and convince enough local lawmakers that it was important enough to be written down and made official.

No joke, when I came up with the Big 10 I pretty much winged it. To be honest, Moses had asked me to do it weeks before, and we had that meeting on Mount Sinai scheduled, but when he showed up I had completely forgotten about it. So I scratched something down on some tablets I had lying around really fast just so he wouldn't get all fussy about it. When he got back down the mountain and actually took a moment to read them, he was soooo pissed to see that I had just written "Moses sucks" ten times that he threw them on the ground and smashed them.

So, when he came back to get them for real, I let him help me with the wording so he'd feel important (I told you a little about that here). In retrospect, I never should have done that. It completely went to his big fat head.

I wish he had a sense of humor, because then the Big 10 could have been an absolute riot. Like the drunk with a cow law. I could have done some really good ones. And I would have left number 8 as "Moses Sucks." And probably number 9, too.